Utterifically Stupid
by KiteDancer
Summary: A fluffy little oneshot involving attempted studying and a certain blonde. Elphaba/Glinda


**Warning: What follows contains absolutely no plot and a mountain of fluff. **

Utterifically Stupid

"Elphieee!"

Glinda throws open the door with a flourish, skipping over to where her green-skinned roommate sits peacefully at the well-used desk. Elphaba looks up with a sigh. The blonde is using _that _tone of voice. Shutting her book and placing it gently on the worn wooden surface, she raises her gaze to the girl, propping herself up with one slender hand.

"What do you want this time?" she asks wearily, one pointed black eyebrow delicately arched. Glinda simply smiles, slipping behind her and worming a pair of thin arms around the taller girl's waist as she places her chin on Elphaba's bony shoulder, blonde curls tumbling over the witch's emerald skin.

"Elphaba...you know how very _much _I love you, right?"

Glinda begins in a wheedling tone, and Elphaba rolls her eyes, twisting around in her chair to face the over-dramatic blonde.

"Yes. I do. Now, what do you want?"

Her face is stern, and Glinda folds her arms with a stubborn pout, one that Elphaba would usually find ridiculously unappealing on anyone else but her peppy roommate.

"Elphie, you could at least say you love me back!" she complains, eyes shimmering with melodramatic tears. "You never say anything to me, you know. I bet Fiyero -!"

Her next words are lost in the squeal that ensues as the emerald-skinned girl tugs Glinda down onto the chair with her. The witch's eyes are dark, sparkling with an unfamiliar emotion.

"Fiyero", she growls, making Glinda jump, "is no one, Glinda. _No one_." After a moment, she seems to relax; brushing a stray blonde curl out of her roommate's shocked face. "Silly girl. You know I love you, anyway" Elphaba whispers, her slender fingers tracing patterns across Glinda's stomach. The witch's feathery touch send shivers down the blonde's spine, and she breathes in sharply, the familiar fluttering in her heart robbing her of all coherent thought.

"Elphie" she whispers, turning her head towards the green-skinned girl, eyes bright as she closes the gap between their lips. Her arms wrap around the witch and she leans in closer, breathing in the familiar musky scent that she has come to associate with Elphaba. Her lips mould to Elphie's, breathing coming quickly in ragged snatches. They sit like that for what seems like forever, revelling in each other's company.

"Glinda."

It is Elphaba who breaks the peaceful silence. The blonde looks up.

"Hm?" she replies, voice dreamy. Elphaba smiles, pulling Glinda closer to her chest.

"What was it you wanted to ask me, my pretty?"

Glinda flashes a quick smile.

"What, before we got rather...distracted?" she offers, lips pursed in an attempt to keep from laughing. Elphaba can't help but return the smile. Her love's happy-go-lucky personality is infectious.

"Quite."

Staring into the emerald-skinned girl's eyes, Glinda quickly finds herself drifting off the point again in a rather unsuitable fashion. Blinking, she tosses her head, golden hair bouncing, drawing an amused snort from Elphaba.

"Ah, the toss rears its blonde head. You must mean business then" the witch states in a gently mocking tone, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Glinda gives an annoyed huff, jerking away from a surprised Elphaba to stand by her dresser, appraising her appearance in the mirror.

"Why must you _always_ make fun of me, Elphie?" she complains, padding across to her bed and landing with a soft 'flump' on the mound of assorted pink sheets. "_Fiyero never made fun of me..."_ she mutters under her breath, with a dark glance at the emerald-skinned witch. "Did you hear that?"

She raises her tone slightly. "Fiy –" A green wrist yanks her to her feet, and her breath catches in her throat at the expression on Elphaba's face.

"What _is_ it with you and Fiyero today?"

Glinda grits her teeth, jaw setting in a solid line.

"I could ask you the same thing!" she retorts, determinedly fixing her blue-eyed gaze on her girlfriend.

Elphaba's brow furrows, and brings her hand up to rub her temple.

"Sorry, what? You lost me."

The blonde stomps her foot in frustration, lurid pink heel digging into the plush carpet.

"You know what! You and _Fiyero_. He's just ridiculous, Elphie, really. Following you around like some - some lovesick puppy! It's completely and utterifically unne – unneck – stupid."

"Unnecessary, I believe?" Elphaba gives a throaty chuckle.

"Elphie!"

Glinda claps her hands sharply, making the witch jump.

"Listen to me! Stop laughing!" she orders, watching helplessly as Elphaba tries and fails to keep her laughter under control.

"_Elphi_e!"

Her voice is fever pitch, and Elphaba sits bolt upright in her chair immediately, all traces of laughter gone from her face.

"I'm sorry."

Glinda deigns not to answer, turning onto her front on her bed, refusing to face her green-skinned roommate. Elphaba gives a sigh, getting up from her chair and joining the blonde on the bed. Glinda turns her head away from the witch with a sulky pout on her lips. Elphaba rolls her eyes.

"Glinda, my sweet."

There is no response. Glinda lies motionless on the bed, arms stretched out above her drooping head like a pillow. Elphaba plays idly with a golden curl, a smile playing across her lips as she leans down to whisper into Glinda's ear.

"I'm sorry for all the mean things I said to you. I didn't mean any of them."

"Sweet-talking may work on Fiyero, but it won't work on me, Elphie" comes the petulant response, although Glinda still refuses to face her.

"Jealousy rather becomes you, you know" Elphaba comments, tone light.

Glinda throws up her arms, pushing the emerald-skinned girl away with a quiet expletive and sitting up, hair dishevelled as she turns to Elphaba.

"See! This is exactly what I mean! You're so - so patronificing!" she cries, searching for the right words to express herself, and failing.

"_Patronificing_?"

Elphaba falls about laughing yet again, tears of mirth welling at her eyes that she quickly wipes away with the corner of her dress before the water can do any lasting damage.

"Ugh!" Glinda gives the witch a half-hearted shove, flouncing to her feet and stalking over to the mirror again, where she watches Elphaba with a disdainful frown.

"I'm sorry, love. You're just unbearably adorable sometimes" Elphaba apologises, walking over to where the blonde stands and sliding her arms around the girl's tiny waist. Glinda turns in the embrace, trying as best she can to plaster a fearsome glare on her features, which she has to admit, is not easy when you are a good three inches shorter than the recipient. Elphaba grins, slipping her hands to Glinda's stomach, making the girl squirm. The blonde folds her arms, blocking Elphaba from coming any closer.

"You're trying to sidetrack me again, Elphaba Thropp. I'm not that easily distracted!"

"Of course not, my sweet" the witch replies, with a sarcastic roll of her eyes

"Hey! You - !" Glinda's tone is indignant. "No, I'm not going to be distracted. You are going to tell me about Fiyero," she demands, with another toss of her hair. Elphaba sighs.

"Honestly, Glinda. What is there to tell?"

Glinda purses her lips, and Elphaba promptly grabs her hand, dragging her over to sit on the crumpled sheets on the pink bed.

"There is nothing between me and Fiyero." She articulates every syllable, staring into the girl's cerulean eyes with a conviction that Glinda can't help but find reassuring. "Admittedly, there is a rather large amount of one-sided love –Fiyero's one-sided love, sweet" she adds as Glinda gives a worried squeak.

"And yes, I find it just as vomit-inducing as you do."

Glinda gives a small smile at her words.

"But there really isn't anything I can do."

"Besides, you never saw me complaining when he decided to target you, did you?" Elphaba finishes, a triumphant smile on her face. Glinda shifts uncomfortably. Damn witch knows she hates the mention of _that time_.

"Yes, but Elphie, we weren't really together then..." she begins hopelessly, trailing off as Elphaba raises an eyebrow.

"So?"

Glinda gives a sigh, letting her head fall against Elphaba's shoulder.

"Alright, you annoying green bean. I'll give it up, happy now?"

Elphaba smiles, leaning down to press a light kiss against Glinda's obligingly upturned lips.

"Ecstatic. But Glinda, love, you know I don't really favour being compared to vegetables all that much. Quite like you don't like being patronised, hm?"

"Oh, live with it."

The witch pulls Glinda onto her lap, winding her arms securely around the girl's waist, bringing their lips crashing together once more.

"Touché" Elphaba mumbles around the kiss.

"Shush, you" the blonde replies promptly. She arches her back against Elphaba's embrace, eyes closing as one emerald hand trails across her collarbone, touch blazing a path across her pale skin.

"This is coming from the girl who won't shut up when we're trying to study for the History test, I take it?" Elphaba states, warmth in her tone as she gently mocks the girl.

"Yes, but Elphie, History is so boring."

"Really?"

Elphaba pulls Glinda imperceptibly closer, and one deep blue eye opens, scrutinising her from behind a veil of dark lashes.

"Yes."

The witch slips a hand under the hem of Glinda's crisp, white blouse, eliciting a squeak from the girl as she splays her cold fingers across the blonde's stomach.

"Well, everyone has a point of view, I suppose."

Slender green fingers creep higher, making Glinda shiver with newfound desire.

"Elphie. There are much better things we could do _besides _studying" she begins, gasping as Elphaba gently trails her fingers back down to the blonde's hips.

"Like?"

Glinda gives a heartfelt sigh as Elphaba removes her hands from underneath Glinda's blouse.

"Oh, take a hint, you oblivious bean."

Elphaba flashes a wicked smile in reply, making Glinda's breath catch in her throat.

"The 'hint' was duly taken a while ago, love."

"Hm." Glinda's tone is huffy.

"And name-calling really isn't your forte. You've reverted to calling me a bean twice. It's shocking, to be honest. Obviously we _have_ been neglecting your studies.' she accuses, teasing with the bottom of Glinda's shirt, fingers stretching up suggestively to the first button.

"Oh, stuff the studies." Glinda replies, breath coming quickly in anticipation. "Shiz can very well expel me for all I care. I've got you." She draws back, and presses a small kiss to Elphaba's lips. "And that's all that matters."

Elphaba smiles, her slender fingers making quick work of Glinda's blouse, and the blonde shrugs out of it, placing the discarded fabric gently on the bed as the cold air hits her bare skin with a rush. She shivers, and the witch wraps her arms tighter around Glinda's body.

"I love you, Elphaba Thropp" Glinda whispers, sliding her arms around the taller girl's neck, and leaning in to the welcome embrace. Elphaba's gaze meets her wondering eyes, and she leans her head down to join her lips to the blonde's.

"As I love you, sweet."

One corner of the witch's mouth quirks up in a smile.

"And that's all that matters."

**Reviews are, as always, greatly appreciated.**


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